my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
