i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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