If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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