Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
