hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
