I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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