Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
