Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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