Pass out mid-funnel last night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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