I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
