FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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