It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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