I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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