I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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