At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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