I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
