I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
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susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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