I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
