my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize