he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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