yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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