I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
