yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize