Can Purell be used as lube?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
