i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
