Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
