Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I feel like abortions should bother me more
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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