He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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