i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
