We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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