You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
