I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
A bitchslap is in order.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
