there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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