That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
