bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
