she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize