Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
