There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
