Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
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Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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