sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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