hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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