Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
