Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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