why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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