omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize