Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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