im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
