I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
