she woke up with a sticky ear
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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