Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We talked him into tasing himself.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
