dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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