dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i believe in u and ur pee
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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