I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
