I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Are we still banned from the library?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
