Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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