jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
