woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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