3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
